Apology is a powerful — and often underused — conflict resolution tool. One reason for not apologizing that I often hear in my work with clients is the concern that apologizing either totally admits fault for the conflict or reveals a weakness. While those concerns may be legitimate in some situations, they are overblown in most cases. Conflicts usually escalate because … [Read more...]
The Leadership Secret to Getting More Done
One of the things I notice as I work with new leaders is a tendency to accept work practices and processes as fixed entities. In some cases, company procedures, processes and work practices are mandated from a level far removed from the front-line supervisor, and they are relatively fixed. However, in most cases, front-line supervisors have more flexibility and … [Read more...]
Flex Your Style to Build Your Team
Building a high-performing team is a complicated thing to do. There is no single formula or strategy for doing it. The number of combinations of personality dynamics, business demands, economic situations and other variables affecting your team is probably too long to fully describe. Despite the complexity and number of variables, there some principles and ideas you can rely on … [Read more...]
Be the Victor, not the Victim
In much of my work, I see a tendency that many people have (including me) to play the victim during interpersonal conflict. I encourage my clients, and I strive myself, to overcome this tendency to blame every conflict on the other party. I call this tendency to blame others a victim mentality. When I am blaming others, I am a “victim” of their behavior with no power to … [Read more...]
5 Steps to Become a Much Better Listener
How much we actually retain when we listen to people speak is up for debate. I've seen research that suggest it is as low as 17%. I don't know if I believe it's quite that low for most of us, but I do believe many of us have lost the art of listening. We're too distracted to offer our full attention to one person. We multi-task, constantly deal with the ding of our phones, … [Read more...]
Dealing With Creative Block
Two big ideas that have huge implications for you as a leader are swirling in my head. I am struggling valiantly (at least in my mind) to align the ideas in a way that briefly and meaningfully conveys them. I find myself in a creative block. Okay, here goes … Idea Number One: Leadership teacher and author John Maxwell says: Everything rises and falls on leadership. It seems … [Read more...]
6 Steps to Confront Negative Behavior at Work
If you choose to look the other way when employees exhibit bad behavior, remember this: Failure to confront a negative behavior is a subtle acceptance of it and an encouragement for it to continue. I absolutely prefer encouraging good behaviors over punishing bad ones. Encouragement is more comfortable to me, and that might be the problem. Behavioral analysts find that … [Read more...]
The Type of Assumption You Should Make
My anger was rising. Every time he spoke, I grew more frustrated and irritated. I could feel my blood pressure rising, my face flushing, my lips tightening, and my shoulders hunching forward. I knew that I was furrowing my brow and that my voice was growing flatter and more menacing with each verbal exchange. While I did not physically fear for my safety, I did feel … [Read more...]
2 Words You’re Probably Not Saying Enough
Today is Memorial Day and we honor the men and women who died while serving in the U.S. military. We'll attend parades, picnics or other celebrations, as a way to remember and show our gratitude to all the soldiers who died for this great nation and to thank the vets and soldiers still with us for their service. It has me thinking a great deal about saying "Thank you." It … [Read more...]
Hiding the Cheese (and Tearing Down Other Barriers That Make Change Hard)
I often say that facts dictate the need for change, and emotions create the barrier to it. Changing from one way of doing things (behavior) to a different one always involves loss, and loss triggers powerful negative emotions. You must understand and address those negative emotions to successfully influence change. I've often talked about about the power that having a weight … [Read more...]