When you are trying to resolve a conflict with a team member, a genuine sense of curiosity about the other person’s perspective often goes a long way toward resolution. You reveal your sense of curiosity by the questions you ask the other person during the conflict conversation. That said, most of us do not naturally ask good questions. Rather than ask questions for the … [Read more...]
5 Steps For Helping Your Team Navigate Rocky Roads
By Barry Kaplan and Jeff Manchester, authors of THE POWER OF VULNERABILITY: How to Create a Team of Leaders by Shifting Inward In our work with hundreds of organizations, it has become clear that in order for teams to unleash their full potential, team members must experience true and authentic connections with one another. Only then will they feel safe to bring their best … [Read more...]
How Often Do You Get in Your Own Way?
A colleague of mine recently had a run-in with someone who was unhappy that her content had been cited in his publication without her direct consent. My colleague had followed all the rules, fully attributed the content to her, and even linked to her website. Yet, she was angry because "that content is how she makes a living." OK, fair enough. He will oblige. Problem is, … [Read more...]
The Wrong Thing to Do When Faced With a Problem (and What to Do Instead)
As I watch what is going on politically across the nation, attend various business meetings and even participate in family discussions, I can't help but notice how the rhetoric and emotion often increase, while the civility and human connection decrease. People become obstinate or angry. Some even resort to insults, and productive conversation flies out the window. The … [Read more...]
That Escalated Fast! 5 Ways to Turn a Disagreement into a Full-On Fight
Just in case you would like to have some fun with another person during your next disagreement, here are some tips for quickly escalating a minor miscommunication into a full-blown argument. Tell people what they should feel When you want to get a strong emotional response from someone, just tell them how to feel. For example, you could say “Don’t be angry" or "You … [Read more...]
The 5 Ways People Respond to Conflict (and Why You Should Care)
In my work with clients of all kinds, I have noticed five basic types of people when it comes to responding to conflict. Admittedly, I did not come up with these categories from a sophisticated and comprehensive statistical analysis. They are, however, built on my observations from working with many people and talking about their approaches to conflict and then observing the … [Read more...]
Manage 3 Major Causes of Workplace Tension
When people are physically uncomfortable, they generally have difficulty focusing on the work at hand, and they tend to become emotionally sensitive and irritable. Both can decrease productivity and increase conflict. Here are three of the most common issues I see as I work with my clients: 1. Space constraints Such constraints can take many forms, but they almost … [Read more...]
The First Thing You Must Do During Emotional Conversations
You likely can relate to this scenario that often comes to my mind when I think about communication ... I was working through an issue with a coworker who was distressed over problems with a process that affected us both. I helped to create the process and had the authority to change it. Plus, I had enough knowledge of the process to troubleshoot and fix a fair number of … [Read more...]
Maintain Calm Leading Up to Election Day
It's been an incredibly ugly presidential campaign, and with two weeks left until Election Day, the worst may not be behind us. The conflict over the presidency has infiltrated the workplace, so much so, that a recent survey by the American Psychological Association indicates that one in four younger employees report they've been negatively affected by political talk on the … [Read more...]
6 Steps to Improve Slumping Morale
You take over a team for the first time, and despite being very excited about your promotion and this new opportunity, you can't help be feel a little dread. Why? Because morale is seriously low on your new team. Major upheaval, layoffs, the previous manager or other negative factors have your employees feeling low, unmotivated, and maybe a little resentful. That is killing … [Read more...]