I have two colleagues. Both of them contribute something valuable to our personal and professional relationships. Both of them are good at what they do. Both of them have strong opinions. Both of them feel free to express their opinions. Both of them have direct and bottom-line communication styles. Both of them are task oriented. Both of them have a sarcastic approach to … [Read more...]
Politicians Are the Worst Role Models When it Comes to Conflict Resolution
As I watch the politicians in what seems like an ongoing heated battle over this or that these days, I wonder if very many politicians really understand how to build consensus and to reach joint decisions that protect the interests (as much as possible) of everyone involved. I see leaders from all sides of the political process investing great energy in staking out positions … [Read more...]
Avoid Poison Questions That Escalate Conflict
When you are trying to resolve a conflict with a team member, a genuine sense of curiosity about the other person’s perspective often goes a long way toward resolution. You reveal your sense of curiosity by the questions you ask the other person during the conflict conversation. That said, most of us do not naturally ask good questions. Rather than ask questions for the … [Read more...]
Detours Can Be a Good Thing (if You Have the Right Attitude)
There are times in both personal and professional situations where apparent road blocks get in the way of achieving your desired goals. Earlier in my life, these road blocks discouraged me. Now, I just see them as detours, and I have learned to learn from the detours. I learned to use them to get where I want to go. If our normal, most direct route is closed. We don't … [Read more...]
Ensure That You Have Communicated Effectively
The communication process really should be easy. You say something to other people. They hear it. They act in a way that is consistent with what you said. End of discussion. However, it’s not quite that easy. In reality, the process for spoken communication goes something like this: You get a picture in your mind of what you want to communicate. You convert that … [Read more...]
10 Employee Needs You Must Meet to Succeed
When employees needs are not met, they find it difficult — if not impossible — to focus on anything else. As their leader, you play a pivotal role in ensuring that those needs are met. If you put in the time and effort, employees will perform at a higher level, will be more loyal and will be much more likely to hit their goals. So what do employees want from their leaders? … [Read more...]
Do This When You Need to Correct an Employee
I want you to pause for a minute and imagine this scenario: You ask an employee, coworker, friend or family member for an honest opinion. The person offers it, but it's not exactly what you wanted to hear. Perhaps your spouse commented that she didn't like the new dish you prepared. Or your coworker disagreed with your plan of attack on a project. Or your BFF admitted that … [Read more...]
The Problem With Labeling People
When dictators come to power, they often use a well-planned strategy for ousting their rivals. Part of that strategy helps them to justify the harsh tactics they use against their political opponents. One part of the strategy gradually strips away the human character of people who stand between the dictator and total control of the country. By stripping away human … [Read more...]
The Wrong Thing to Do When Faced With a Problem (and What to Do Instead)
As I watch what is going on politically across the nation, attend various business meetings and even participate in family discussions, I can't help but notice how the rhetoric and emotion often increase, while the civility and human connection decrease. People become obstinate or angry. Some even resort to insults, and productive conversation flies out the window. The … [Read more...]
That Escalated Fast! 5 Ways to Turn a Disagreement into a Full-On Fight
Just in case you would like to have some fun with another person during your next disagreement, here are some tips for quickly escalating a minor miscommunication into a full-blown argument. Tell people what they should feel When you want to get a strong emotional response from someone, just tell them how to feel. For example, you could say “Don’t be angry" or "You … [Read more...]