By Guy Harris Conflict definitely sounds bad, and it generally feels bad. There are very few people who look forward to a conflict discussion. Frankly, more people avoid or look to escape conflict discussions than are willing to actively participate in them. Conflict certainly has a negative emotional aspect for most people. Is conflict always bad, though? Before we … [Read more...]
5 Practical Steps You Can Take to Reduce Tension Between Co-workers
Tension between co-workers is one of the more common sources of emotional “pressure” build-up for people. Left unaddressed for long enough, the pressure can reach a boiling point. Fortunately, you can do something about it before the tension becomes a major conflict. 1. Create opportunities for people to better understand and appreciate their behavioral differences and … [Read more...]
Using Apology to De-escalate a Conflict
Apology is a powerful — and often underused — conflict resolution tool. One reason for not apologizing that I often hear in my work with clients is the concern that apologizing either totally admits fault for the conflict or reveals a weakness. While those concerns may be legitimate in some situations, they are overblown in most cases. Conflicts usually escalate because … [Read more...]
How to Master the Art of Respectful Truth-Telling
Most people have suppressed their true feelings to avoid conflict at work. “When you need to have a difficult conversation with someone, it’s best to be prepared,” says Jackie Gaines, Wearing the Yellow Suit: A Guide for Women in Leadership “Having an idea of the actual words you plan to use ahead of time makes the experience easier and will help you feel calm and in control … [Read more...]
How to Keep a Conflict From Escalating
When I work with clients, I often see judgment driving much of the thinking during a conflict conversation. Rather than a genuine curiosity for understanding where the other person is coming from, one or both people judge the other person's intentions. Here's how I see the difference between these two attitudes: An attitude of judgment says: “They're trying to take … [Read more...]
How to Talk to an Angry Person
Emotions are running high, and people seemingly get angry for no reason. If you’re like most of the people, you managing someone's emotional outburst is the last thing you one to do. While some people seem to have a knack for helping others “back off the edge,” most people feel at least a little bit nervous or apprehensive about such situations, especially new managers who have … [Read more...]
Beyond The Bickering: 5 Steps to Resolving Conflict In Teams
This is a guest post by Jono Bacon, founder of Jono Bacon Consulting. You can run the most efficient, well-run company in the world, packed with eager team members clad in your branded hoodies, but at some point, conflict is going to rear its ugly head. I have worked with team members who clashed over their contributions to a shared project, with team leads who have battled … [Read more...]
10 Tactics to Manage Workplace Drama
From time to time, most of us have experienced or even contributed to workplace drama. It can take many different forms: People gossip, spread rumors, complain, lash out emotionally, rant about a perceived wrong, purposely exclude others, take sides in conflicts, and so forth. No matter how drama manifests, it can be a highly destructive force inside a company, and leaders must … [Read more...]
Can All Conflicts Be Resolved?
I often get asked if every conflict can be resolved. Since I work with leaders and teams to resolve workplace conflicts and to build the confidence people have to address conflicts, I think it's a really good question. The short answer is: yes, every conflict can be resolved. The question does have one problem though: It is incomplete. It is incomplete in that people often … [Read more...]
Be the Victor, not the Victim
In much of my work, I see a tendency that many people have (including me) to play the victim during interpersonal conflict. I encourage my clients, and I strive myself, to overcome this tendency to blame every conflict on the other party. I call this tendency to blame others a victim mentality. When I am blaming others, I am a “victim” of their behavior with no power to … [Read more...]