Apology is a powerful — and often underused — conflict resolution tool. One reason for not apologizing that I often hear in my work with clients is the concern that apologizing either totally admits fault for the conflict or reveals a weakness. While those concerns may be legitimate in some situations, they are overblown in most cases. Conflicts usually escalate because … [Read more...]
How to Master the Art of Respectful Truth-Telling
Most people have suppressed their true feelings to avoid conflict at work. “When you need to have a difficult conversation with someone, it’s best to be prepared,” says Jackie Gaines, Wearing the Yellow Suit: A Guide for Women in Leadership “Having an idea of the actual words you plan to use ahead of time makes the experience easier and will help you feel calm and in control … [Read more...]
How to Keep a Conflict From Escalating
When I work with clients, I often see judgment driving much of the thinking during a conflict conversation. Rather than a genuine curiosity for understanding where the other person is coming from, one or both people judge the other person's intentions. Here's how I see the difference between these two attitudes: An attitude of judgment says: “They're trying to take … [Read more...]
How to Talk to an Angry Person
Emotions are running high, and people seemingly get angry for no reason. If you’re like most of the people, you managing someone's emotional outburst is the last thing you one to do. While some people seem to have a knack for helping others “back off the edge,” most people feel at least a little bit nervous or apprehensive about such situations, especially new managers who have … [Read more...]
Beyond The Bickering: 5 Steps to Resolving Conflict In Teams
This is a guest post by Jono Bacon, founder of Jono Bacon Consulting. You can run the most efficient, well-run company in the world, packed with eager team members clad in your branded hoodies, but at some point, conflict is going to rear its ugly head. I have worked with team members who clashed over their contributions to a shared project, with team leads who have battled … [Read more...]
10 Tactics to Manage Workplace Drama
From time to time, most of us have experienced or even contributed to workplace drama. It can take many different forms: People gossip, spread rumors, complain, lash out emotionally, rant about a perceived wrong, purposely exclude others, take sides in conflicts, and so forth. No matter how drama manifests, it can be a highly destructive force inside a company, and leaders must … [Read more...]
Can All Conflicts Be Resolved?
I often get asked if every conflict can be resolved. Since I work with leaders and teams to resolve workplace conflicts and to build the confidence people have to address conflicts, I think it's a really good question. The short answer is: yes, every conflict can be resolved. The question does have one problem though: It is incomplete. It is incomplete in that people often … [Read more...]
Be the Victor, not the Victim
In much of my work, I see a tendency that many people have (including me) to play the victim during interpersonal conflict. I encourage my clients, and I strive myself, to overcome this tendency to blame every conflict on the other party. I call this tendency to blame others a victim mentality. When I am blaming others, I am a “victim” of their behavior with no power to … [Read more...]
Leadership Lessons from a Rainy Day
After several perfect spring days here where I live in Virginia, today has been nothing but dreary, chilly and rainy. The high I experienced early this week of being outdoors with my children has pretty much disappeared, and I find myself feeling grumpy, unmotivated and pessimistic. It's not in my nature to be any of those things, so it's prompted me to think about life, and … [Read more...]
Is Your Workplace Hostile? Here Are 5 Indicators It Is
This is a guest post from Chris Dyer performance expert, speaker, consultant, and author of The Power of Company Culture. When office relations go south, the boss is often the last one to know. Gossips and bullies act from the shadows. Employees might hold back their gripes for fear of losing favor. And trouble with customers may be shielded so it doesn’t reflect poorly on … [Read more...]