I often get asked if every conflict can be resolved. Since I work with leaders and teams to resolve workplace conflicts and to build the confidence people have to address conflicts, I think it's a really good question. The short answer is: yes, every conflict can be resolved. The question does have one problem though: It is incomplete. It is incomplete in that people often … [Read more...]
About Guy
Get Comfortable With Employees’ Mistakes
One of my favorite leadership anecdotes involves my daughter when she was just learning to drive. Several years ago, my daughter and I had to drive about thirty miles on county roads through rural Indiana. Snow was not falling on the day we made this drive. However, there was plenty of snow in the fields on either side of the roads and the wind was blowing. Under these … [Read more...]
Encourage the Right Behaviors, Eliminate the Wrong Ones
It’s not true in every organization, but it is true in many: Leaders don’t understand their employees. They don’t know how to motivate, inspire and correct people effectively. As I work with my clients, I hear the same questions repeatedly: “How do I get my employees to … Quit complaining?” Do more than the bare minimum?” Contribute in meetings?” Show up on … [Read more...]
Be the Victor, not the Victim
In much of my work, I see a tendency that many people have (including me) to play the victim during interpersonal conflict. I encourage my clients, and I strive myself, to overcome this tendency to blame every conflict on the other party. I call this tendency to blame others a victim mentality. When I am blaming others, I am a “victim” of their behavior with no power to … [Read more...]
5 Steps to Become a Much Better Listener
How much we actually retain when we listen to people speak is up for debate. I've seen research that suggest it is as low as 17%. I don't know if I believe it's quite that low for most of us, but I do believe many of us have lost the art of listening. We're too distracted to offer our full attention to one person. We multi-task, constantly deal with the ding of our phones, … [Read more...]
Dealing With Creative Block
Two big ideas that have huge implications for you as a leader are swirling in my head. I am struggling valiantly (at least in my mind) to align the ideas in a way that briefly and meaningfully conveys them. I find myself in a creative block. Okay, here goes … Idea Number One: Leadership teacher and author John Maxwell says: Everything rises and falls on leadership. It seems … [Read more...]
Resolve Conflicts Much Faster With This Surprising Advice
“How do you resolve a conflict quickly?” You may think this answer is counter-intuitive, but it's true: To solve conflict quickly, you must slow down. Just about everything I do professionally centers around resolving conflict, improving communication, enhancing leadership and inspiring teamwork. I work with teams of all kinds: work teams, non-profit teams and even … [Read more...]
6 Steps to Confront Negative Behavior at Work
If you choose to look the other way when employees exhibit bad behavior, remember this: Failure to confront a negative behavior is a subtle acceptance of it and an encouragement for it to continue. I absolutely prefer encouraging good behaviors over punishing bad ones. Encouragement is more comfortable to me, and that might be the problem. Behavioral analysts find that … [Read more...]
Learn to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable
When you interact and work with other people, you will eventually disagree with someone. Sometimes, the disagreement will be over minor issues that you can easily ignore. Sometimes, however, you will disagree quite strongly about an issue that is vitally important to both sides. It might be about what course of action to take to turn around the company, which candidate to … [Read more...]
That Escalated Quickly: 3 Words Guaranteed to Increase Conflict
I tend to notice how people respond to certain words. I guess that's something of an “occupational hazard” for me. As I watch how people respond, I look for patterns. While tone and body language can often turn minor disagreements into full-on arguments, it's more often the words people use that cause conflicts to grow. So which words are guaranteed to start or escalate a … [Read more...]